You’ll hear coaches and sales leader say all the time to separate yourself from the results. In other words; it’s a numbers game, it’s not about you, don’t take it personally, you’re not being rejected only your offer is, remove yourself, distance yourself, etc and etc so on and so on. The personal saying I’ve used for many years is to ‘divorce’ yourself from the results. Truth bomb time. You cannot separate yourself from results, not completely, and you shouldn’t expect to be able to. Instead, you should manage to your results. Betrayal is the same. It’s something you can’t avoid. Sooner or later, you will take something personally and it will feel like a betrayal. If you’re not careful, betrayal can really sink your ship fast, and it’s why it’s so important to learn how to manage your results and betrayal.
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Betrayal was front and center in our podcast, The Entrepreneur Mastery Lab. In our most recent episode featuring Michael Buzinski betrayal came up and it was personal. Michael ended up shutting the doors of a multi-million-dollar company after experiencing epic level betrayal. Instead of letting it sink his ship, or more aptly, crash his plane, Buzz used it as inspiration to build a business more aligned with his values and his employees. Today he enjoys a thriving marketing business and is President and CMO of Buzzworthy Integrated Marketing. To hear more about how Buzz managed his emotions and the impact of betrayal you can listen in to our podcast here and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and give us a 5* review if you enjoy the episode!
Why is it so important to manage our results and betrayal? Because we can’t ever separate ourselves from them. We can’t be emotionless when results aren’t what we want them to be. Every rejection is, to an extent, personal. It’s not like someone else is being rejected after all. This is your experience, and it is real. The old advice about divorcing yourself from the results? It’s not that it’s bad advice, we should be figuring out ways to handle negative results, it’s that it’s impossible. It is impossible to fully separate ourselves from negative results. If that is what you’re trying to do, it won’t get you to where you want to be.
We need to manage our reaction to results. This is different than removing ourselves from the results. Think of results as data that we need to get better. Every failure, every rejection is an opportunity to learn and tweak what we are doing to achieve more success. As we love to say, it’s all just an experiment and failure is simply a result that we didn’t want or expect. By shifting our perspective here, we can start to manage to rejection. Rejection is something that we’ll still deal with, but we are going to start using tools that will make rejection more helpful.
Your emotions will come into play here. Most people, when they experience poor results or rejection will deal with anxiety, imposter syndrome, fear, anger, frustration, and a whole lot of emotions we paint as ‘bad.’
Let’s get this straight. Emotions are neither bad nor good, they just are. We need to be able to acknowledge our emotions, allow ourselves to feel our emotions and then accept our emotions. In this way we can manage to our results and not try to remove ourselves from them. Again, removing ourselves from our results and emotions, that’s impossible. Managing to them is not!
Back to betrayal. It will happen. We will feel betrayed. This is a result that nobody will ask for, but we will all experience. Betrayal and our response to it will determine whether we can step forward into our businesses or shrink away. If you experience betrayal, be like Buzz. Step up and out and use it as an inspiration to build something even greater and stronger. You’ll thank yourself later for it!
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